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If you hold a local political position, such as school board president, you can have an enormous and direct influence over the lives of many of your neighbors. Paradoxically, if you are at the very top of government, you can struggle to make any difference at all. I remember, in a more innocent age, feeling real trepidation about the prospect of James Richard Perry, of Paint Creek, serving as secretary of energy, which mostly, despite its name, oversees nuclear security and high-level physics research. I felt a certain appreciation for the former governor and his great political skill, but the thought of him taking responsibility for the slowly deteriorating plutonium waste pits at the Hanford Site gave me pause.
Years later, though, I talked with some career Department of Energy employees—in it for the love of science—who recounted fond memories of Perry’s tenure at the agency. This was not because, even after four years, he had learned how to explain the causes of Cherenkov radiation. In the telling of his former subordinates, he never completely understood what the agency did, or why. But that was a good thing. He let his staff do their jobs and obeyed what his advisers told him was the law. And then he went home.
Bureaucracy gets a bad rap—the deep state an even worse one—but though civil service can be inefficient and slow, it serves as a bulwark against a dangerously corrupt or incompetent administration in power. It has taken centuries to build up that rampart, and many successive administrations have failed to tear it down. But with the right political appointees in power, this time might be different.
This creates a question for Texans: Should we hope that our leaders–particularly our incompetent and unhinged ones–become federal officials? Would it be better to have Attorney General Ken Paxton stay here and wield prosecutorial discretion for the benefit of his donors and other supporters, or take over, say, the FBI?
Donald Trump has begun staffing his administration with dizzying speed. He’s selected a few Texans already, none from the first rank of state politicians. John Ratcliffe, a former congressman and mayor of Heath—thirty minutes east of Dallas, with a population of 11,238—has been tapped to lead the CIA. Tulsi Gabbard, a former congresswoman from Hawaii who recently moved to the north Austin suburb of Leander, was nominated to be the director of national intelligence. She’s spoken kindly of murderous dictators, including Syria’s Bashar al-Assad and Russia’s Vladimir Putin.
The Cabinet picks so far include former Dallas-area state Representative Scott Turner, who will lead the Department of Housing and Urban Development if confirmed by the Senate. Texas think tanker Brooke Rollins, meanwhile, will run the Department of Agriculture, pending confirmation. Both came up in Texas GOP politics. The far-right faction in the state led by Midland oil billionaire and Christian nationalist Tim Dunn pushed Turner to challenge—and subsequently get blown out by–centrist Republican Joe Straus in the 2014 Texas House Speaker’s race, while Rollins served as the longtime head of the right-wing Texas Public Policy Foundation, where Dunn serves as a board member and major donor.
But whether we want them to stay or go will be an ongoing question. Some of the folks Trump has already appointed seem unlikely to be approved even by the lap dogs who now comprise the Republican majority in the Senate, and his last administration saw the kind of turnover you might expect in a colony of fruit flies. It would not be surprising if Trump has to refill positions for which he has already nominated folks in the next four years.
What positions could our brave hometown boys and girls hope for? And should we hope, for the interest of Texas, that they take them?
Greg Abbott
Current Position: Governor and fundraiser in chief
Possible Position: It’s hard to identify a federal position that would be more appealing to Abbott than continuing to serve as governor, particularly because the one that might best fit his interests has already (perhaps temporarily) been filled: Kristi Noem has been selected to lead the Department of Homeland Security, the main border enforcement agency. (That’s a miserable job, but perhaps it’s better than being the governor of South Dakota.) If it became available again—or if Abbott’s offered some other job in the administration, say, energy or interior secretary—should we want him to take it?
Case he should leave: Abbott has accumulated quite a bit of power here, and if he left, it might offer an opportunity to change the status quo.
Case he should stay: The status wouldn’t really be unquo’d. Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick would replace Abbott as governor, and Patrick’s replacement as lieutenant governor would likely be one of his handpicked underlings. Abbott has also proved, with the Texas border, his willingness to score political points at the expense of the vulnerable—including by letting the State National Guard toss children and pregnant migrants back into the Rio Grande. Giving him a national platform for that sort of cruelty seems like a bad idea, not least for the image of the Lone Star State.
The Verdict: Stay here, governor. We, uh—we need you. Because of…the Venezuelan gangs?
Dan Patrick
Current Position: Lieutenant Governor, God-Emperor of the Texas Senate
Possible Position: On November 8 Patrick effusively tried to get ahead of the “fake news” to say he wouldn’t be joining the Trump administration. He doth protest too much because folks haven’t really been asking about his availability this time around. In Trump’s first term, back when potential appointees were at least lightly vetted before being announced, the scuttlebutt at the Texas Capitol was that the administration considered Patrick for an undisclosed role and that he didn’t make it very far. That wouldn’t be surprising: I have a thick, spiral-bound opposition research packet on my desk compiled by Patrick’s Republican rival for lieutenant governor in 2014, Land Commissioner Jerry Patterson. It includes personal medical, psychological, and financial records, as well as bankruptcy filings. It’s easy to imagine the material being painful to hear at a confirmation hearing.
But Patrick has waffled on whether he’s going to run for re-election in 2026. If he doesn’t, you could imagine him getting a little end-of-term appointment as a reward for his long-standing support of Trump. Interior? Commerce? Ambassador to some little sun-drenched island?
Case he should leave: Anything that gets the imperator out of Texas is a boon. Regardless of your thoughts on the policies Patrick favors, he has squeezed the life and independence out of the Texas Senate and introduced new flavors of obfuscation and mendacity to a state that already had its fair share. Our body politic is worse for it.
Case he should stay: Unfortunately, Patrick has thoroughly infected the Texas GOP with his brand of politics, and sending him to Washington wouldn’t save us from it.
The Verdict: It’s a wash. You do you, Lieutenant Dan.
Ken Paxton
Current Position: Texas Attorney General and Guy Who’ll Help You Out If You Have a Thing You Need to Make Go Away, You Know? And He’ll Be Real Cool About It
Possible Position: The position Paxton is best suited for is as a counterfeit Rolex salesman in Times Square in a movie that takes place in the 1980s, but he missed that opportunity, so we’re stuck with him here. Some in the news media talked Paxton up as a nominee for U.S. attorney general, but he has been passed over twice by Trump already, and many doubt whether he could survive a Senate confirmation hearing because of his many adventures on the wrong side of the law. So what’s left? White House counsel? FBI director? Solicitor general, where he could deliver sloppy arguments to the Supreme Court?
Case he should leave: On the one hand, Paxton has failed at his job for years in ways that have hurt Texans. His office has bungled important prosecutions for many crimes—most notably teenage sex trafficking. If he is moved to D.C., the state might get someone with the same politics but who is sufficiently competent to handle the role’s basic responsibilities. At the federal level, Paxton’s screwups might affect the basic operations of, say, the FBI less than they do our AG office, because of its vast scale and professional workforce.
Case he should stay: Paxton’s ineptitude somewhat limits his ability to cause much more political and ideological harm in Texas. One of the ironies of the Paxton impeachment was that right-wing Republicans could have replaced him with nearly anybody else, and that choice would have done a better job of enforcing their legal agenda. At the same time, if you oppose his agenda, you might not want him replaced.
The Verdict: Paxton has already done about as much damage as he can in Texas. It would be entertaining to see him face major league pitching in Washington. I say, go East, middle-aged man! Make us proud.
Sid Miller
Current Position: Agriculture commissioner and Facebook uncle
Possible position: There’s only one: head of the U.S. Department of Agriculture, if current Texan nominee Rollins yields the post.
Case he should leave: Frankly, Miller doesn’t do much here, and he likely wouldn’t do much in D.C. But what he has done here hasn’t always been good for the state. His longtime political consultant Todd Smith pleaded guilty last month to trying to extort farmers seeking hemp licenses, insisting that they pony up campaign cash. (When Smith was charged, Miller called him the victim of a “witch hunt” and declared his associate “innocent, plain and simple”; he has denied personal involvement in the alleged scheme.)
Case he should stay: A decade ago, Miller fought vigorously against tyrant Michelle Obama to keep school meals from getting healthier—which could set up Cabinet drama against Department of Health and Human Services secretary nominee Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who is pushing a distinctly Obama-like set of nutritional policies. The USDA also helps oversee animal welfare. Miller was once accused by the American Quarter Horse Association of abusing his horses. (He denied any wrongdoing.) Plus, as a recipient of the famed “Jesus Shot” to take away “all pain,” he’s probably simpatico with RFK on a lot of his more unscientific beliefs.
The Verdict: Go for it! Have fun up there, big guy.
Elon Musk
Current Position: CEO of Tesla, Space X, and X; and epic meme lord
New Position: Having helped Trump buy his presidency, Musk has been tapped as the cohead of something called the Department of Government Efficiency. Only in D.C. would a department of efficiency have two leaders. The name is a joke, you see, because its acronym spells out “doge”—a very mildly comic misspelling of the word ‘doggy’ and no relation to the medieval Venetian authority. Doge is also associated with a picture of a Shiba Inu that was popular on Reddit about ten years ago, and later on with Dogecoin, a form of cryptocurrency called a meme coin. The position Musk holds could also prove to be a joke—or not. The big question is whether he should be content to pursue it part-time, from the Austin compound where he lives with more lovers and kids than an Ottoman sultan, or whether he could commit fully to the role and move to Washington, or perhaps Mar-a-Lago.
Case he should leave: Musk is apparently enthusiastic about his new position. What he might not know is that there have been about a dozen similar commissions in modern political history, and none of them accomplished very much: the Private Sector Survey on Cost Control in the 1980s, the National Partnership for Reinventing Government in the 1990s, the Project on National Security Reform in the 2000s, the National Commission on Fiscal Responsibility and Reform in the 2010s. Each of these bodies was led by folks better equipped to hunt for inefficiencies than Musk. His reach will be limited as will the harm he might do to, say, Medicare or veterans benefits. Plus, if Musk handed over the reins of his now Texas-based companies, his employees might benefit from a decrease in impulsive disruptions for four years.
Case he should stay: Though it seems silly to suppose that Musk has ethical obligations, he would better serve the country by stepping away from the DOGE position. He’s a major government contractor who has received billions in subsidies for his companies, and he now has the ear of the president. Even without embracing his role on this commission, he will likely become entangled in conflicts of interest between his commercial enterprises and his ostensibly beneficent interest in government efficiency.
Verdict: Go for it. When the government doesn’t want to do anything, it creates a commission. Trump has effectively placed Musk in a kind of day care. This is among the least harmful things he could do.
Ted Cruz
Current Position: Podcaster, part-time U.S. Senator
Possible Position: Only one job could entice Cruz to set aside his stubborn presidential ambitions: Supreme Court justice. Such an appointment seems unlikely, but who knows? The current candidate for secretary of defense used to cohost Fox & Friends on the weekends.
Case he should leave: If he never had to run for office again, maybe Cruz would just, like, chill out, you know? It would be a kindness to his family and the whole nation, especially Texas.
Case he should stay: Putting the senator who led the charge to overturn the 2020 election onto the high court bodes ill for a peaceful transfer of power to the Vance administration in 2029.
The Verdict: Stay here.
Henry Cuellar
Current Position: U.S. Congressman (D-Laredo) and honorary Turkman
Possible Position: This one is a wild card. Cuellar has represented a border district as a conservative Democrat since 2005 and was indicted last year on charges of corruption and money laundering related to a Mexican bank and an Azerbaijan oil company. He denies the allegations, but they’re backstopped by the testimony of two of his former aides. Before Trump’s election, he seemed screwed. His district, once solidly Democratic, has rapidly swung to the right, and this year he beat his long shot Republican opponent by less than five points. Here’s the juicy bit: Trump’s lackey Justice Department could dismiss the case against Cuellar. But what do you want from Cuellar if you’re a Republican and he’s willing to play? Do you want him to switch parties, easing the district’s journey to GOP control? Or do you want him out of the seat so a new Republican can win it next time? If the latter, a bold path awaits Little Marco Rubio’s State Department: Make Cuellar ambassador to Azerbaijan.
Case he should leave: For a while, Cuellar, an iconoclastic Blue Dog Democrat, could plausibly claim to be representing his conservative district, untethered to the demands of leaders of either party. But the corruption scandals make that claim harder to maintain. His constituents deserve a better advocate.
Case he should stay: He’d come to enjoy the diplomatic gig, and he doesn’t deserve it. Think of it: Cuellar astride his purebred Akhal-Teke horse, riding pensively to the eternal fires of Yanar Dagh …digging into the juicy pomegranates he bought in Goychay … tipping his hat to the rural women in their colorful chadra and rubens … feeling, just for a moment, the call of the steppe…
The Verdict: I, too, am looking to get out of the country for a few years. Go, Henry, and I will follow. You’ll need a speechwriter.
Image credits: Cuellar: Jose Luis Magana; Patrick: Dylan Hollingsworth/Bloomberg via Getty; Miller: Michael Donhauser/picture alliance via Getty; Musk: Jabin Botsford/The Washington Post via Getty; Paxton: Dylan Hollingsworth/Bloomberg via Getty
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